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star if you like it?

Billy was on holiday in America and didn’t speak very good English. It was his last day and he was heading to the airport to fly home, but first he needed to buy a few things.

He ends up going to the store and asking the clerk for some “BUM”. She sits there and thinks for awhile and then says, “Oh you must mean gum.”

Then he goes to the fish store and askes if he could get some “F*CK IT”. The fish man thinks and says, “Oh I get it, you must mean Bucket (bucket of fish)”

Billy shakes his head as YES.

Then he makes a trip to the pet store and says, “Could I get a c0ck and spank it?” The pet store owner says “Oh you must mean Cocker Spaniel.”

Billy shakes his head YES.

He finally makes it to the airport where he will be catching his flight.

When he gets there he askes this guy…

“Could you hold my bum and f*ck it while I get my c0ck and spank it”

star if u like this..?

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.

He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.

He Practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target.

Getting A little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was Walking back he saw Grandma’s pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck Square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see His sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, “Sally, let’s wash the Dishes.” But Sally said, “Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in The kitchen.” Then she whispered to him, ” Remember the duck?” So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go Fishing and Grandma said, “I’m sorry but I need Sally to help make Supper.”

Sally just smiled and said,” Well that’s all right because Johnny told Me he wanted to help.” She whispered again, “Remember the duck? ” So Sally Went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s, He finally couldn’t stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, “Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long You would let Sally make a slave of you. ”

**********

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done… And the devil Keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad Habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) ….whatever it is….You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing….. He has seen your whole life.

He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven.

He’s just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave Of you .

The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness, He Not only forgives you, but He forgets . It is by God’s grace and Mercy that we are saved.

Go ahead and make the difference in someone’s life today. Share This with a friend and always remember : God is at the window.

Another joke,,,,hahaha or boo!!!???? star for hahahah pls?

Types of men pissers:-

Absent Minded: Opens his vest, pulls out his tie, and pisses in his pants.

Clever: Uses no hands, shows off by fixing tie with both hands, looks around for admiration, and sometimes ends up pissing on the floor and onto his shoes.

Cross-eyed: Looks into urinal on the left, pisses into the one in the center, and flushes the one on the right.

Desperate: Waits in a long time, teeth floating and feet shuffling. Starts to piss as he walks up to urinal but before he can unzip himself. Lets out a long groan and grunt as he finally gets to relieve himself.

Disgruntled: Stands for a while, grunts, gives up, and walks away.

Drunk: Holds left thumb in right hand and pisses into his pants.

Easily induced: Any thought, mention, sight, or slosh of a liquid, from sipping coffee to a runny nose, causes bladder to immediately signal full condition.

Efficient: Waits until he has to crap, then does both at once.

Erect: Either because his bladder is full or he just saw a sexy woman, his penis is so erect that he must thrust his buttocks backward a bit to be able to pull his member out of his pants. Gets pubic hair caught up in his zipper.

Excitable: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find the hole, and ends up ripping his shorts or jamming the zipper into his shirttail.

Flashy: Tells loud jokes while pissing; shakes off drops with a great flourish.

Frivolous: Plays stream up and down and across the urinal. Likes to see how many bubbles he can make froth up. Tries to hit and sink the cigarette floating around in the water. Has never really grown up.

Indifferent: If all the urinals are being used, he goes into a toilet stall to piss. If all the toilet stalls are taken also, he pisses into the sink or garbage can.

Little: Stands on a box to piss into the urinal, falls in, drowns.

Nosey: Looks into the next urinal to compare himself with the other guy’s organ.

Patient: Stands very close for a long time waiting, reading the paper with his free hand.

Playful: Spots a friend’s shoes under the divider wall and redirects aim accordingly.

Scientific: Backs up from the urinal to take a long shot, misses, and pisses on shoes.

Slob: Does not bother to flush urinal after using it, drips all over his shoes and pants when zipping himself back up, and does not bother to wash hands as he leaves with his fly undone. Usually has to adjust his balls afterwards as he is sitting down.

Sneak: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, and knows that the man next to him will be blamed.

Sociable: Joins friends in piss whether he has to go or not.

Timid: Cannot urinate if someone is watching, pretends to, and then flushes the urinal as if he has already used it. Sneaks back in once everyone has left the restroom.

Tough: Bangs dick against side of urinal to dry it.

Worried: Is not sure of what he has been into lately and makes a quick inspection.
answer to “O” question,,,,,

that’s the guy who use up all the toilet paper cause he washes it everytime & use the paper to wipe it dry,,,,,,
HEY GALS & GUYS,,,PLS DON’T FORGET MY STARS,,,,,,,,

Beatdownm Results!? Debate!? Huge Main event!? New Star!? Last week to vote!? What do you thinjk?

If you don’t like this, don’t answer.
We begin the show with Daffy in the ring with 3 podiems around him. “This week is the last week to vote for who you want to face King Arthur at Super Sunday for his Beatdown Championship. So far, Garfield is leading the vote with 2 votes, Dre & Jak each have 1. But, because this is the final week, I thought I’d have each ‘candidate’ explain why they should face Arty.’ All 3 of them came out. Dre started out. “I think that Arty & I would put on a classic that none of you will soon forget.’ Garfield interrupted by saying, “Oh yeah, it would be a classic, a classic claustrophobic piece of sh**. What you guys want to see is Garfield vs. Arty to continue the saga. That would be a…” Jak interrupted with “terrible choice. Dre, you and Arty would hep eachother out. Garfield, you have had your chance at Arty. I think you fans deserve something new. So why not pick me.” Daffy then said,, “You all have great reasons, but I think we need a physical debate to settle this. Tonight, it will be a 3-way tag match. Each of you are allowed to pick your own partner. And the ref will be none other than King Arty.” He left as tension flied between the 3 competitors.
We begin the night with Tarzan facing Taco Bell Chihuahua. It was a great match. Tarzan had Taco about to tap out when Chester the Cheetah (Cheetos) came out with bat with glass shards in it. He hit Tarzan with it multiple times. This caused Taco to get DQ’d, but he didn’t care as he joined in on the attack, without knowing what it was for. After Tarzan was a bloody mess, Chester got a mic and said, “Tarzan, I am getting revenge. You killed my cousin, Sabor, and now, I want to avenge him. I wish he did kill you as an infant.” Han Solo and Jane ran into the ring, but Taco & Chester got out just in time.
The next match had Mills Lane face Jerry. In the middle of the match, the ref was pulled from outside and was hit with brass knuckles by Hugo Chavez in a ref shirt. Mills didn’t realize this, as Hugo had a mask that looked like a face. Hugo deliberately counted slowly to allow Jerry to kick out every time. Eventually, Mills got angry and yelled at the ‘ref’. Hugo punched Mills with the knucks. He dragged Jerry on Mills to give him the victory. He left quickly before Mills got up.
Calvin & Hobbes faced off against Beatdown tag champs Pooh & Piglet. It was a great match. Calvin & Hobbes won after a Wagon Ride from Calvin on Piglet. After the match, pooh came in and tried to hit a Suckel Punch, but instead got stopped by Hobbes, who hit an Imaginary Slam. They left indicating they wanted the titles.
It was main event time after that. It was Garfield & Casper vs. Jak & Ronald McDonald vs. Dr. Dre & Chewbacca. Arty did a great job refereeing as it was right down the middle. Garfield had Ronald in a corner and kept on beating on him. Arty pulled Garfield off. Garfield began to argue with arty. As this was going on, Dre snuck up behind Garfield and rolled him up for a pin. Arty counted to 3 to give Dre & Chewbacca the victory. Garfield got up and argued with arty some more. He pushed him and Arty clothelined him. This started a huge brawl. All 3 sides tried their best to gain supremacy. Reinforcements came from back stage. Arty tried to get out, since he wasn’t really a part of this. As he was going up the ramp, Eduardo came out and wrapped his arms around Arty. Garfield & Casper snuck out and went backstage. Backstage, they tied Arty to a pole with barbed wire. They kept on beating on him until he bled. Garfield brought out his cheese grater and hit Arty with it over and over again. He got champagne from Casper and sprayed it all over Arty. He took the championship away from him as the show ends.
Remember to vote for who you want to fce Arty. Dre, Jak, & Garfield. You can vote again if you voted earlier.

Answer Please! It is Dire!!!!!!!?

K. So let’s say you had a frying pan. K? A magical wolf in the form of a genei comes to to grant you four wishes. Now he’s anti-steryotype. So, he granted you 4 wishes instead of 3. He wanted to show you that not all wishes stick in groups of 3. There are plenty of non-triwishes. So your first wish is that you could fly over and underpass that’s impossible to fly over. So he says OK… Then all of a sudden you see a big star fish. And you say, “That’s against the law!” So he puts on some clothes. Then the evil butterflies come to eat you. But it’s ok! It— o- o- kk. Waaaaaa So then your tears turn into magots that eat all of the butterflies. Then your dog, Your Cat, comes. Then your cat, You, comes. Then you, Your Dog, comes. Your dog says, “Hey I’m so cool!”. Your Cat barks at you. You hisses and uses her claws to climb a tree. Your dog is sad. Your dog hoped the You would be OK. Your dog climbed the tree to save You. Suddenly, Your cat came and ate you. What happened to your pan????