I’m going to start out by saying, I’ve shared many kisses with many different people, so I’m not like asking- “OMG, this kiss was like all others! fkdsjfsdj” and freak out about it. I’m going to call this boy “Joe”. Joe fell inlove with my last June. I had a boyfriend. I two-timed my boyfriend with Joe. Joe didn’t know, nor did my boyfriend. It has been kept that way. We shared one kiss, which was one I truthfully didn’t want to share. It didn’t feel like any sparks were flying. Me and Joe became ill-fully close, then when I broke up with him because I couldn’t take the cheating, he broke all ties with me. I was perfectly okay with that. This past month (August), he texted me. We became close, again. But we never got to see each other. He told me every night how much he loved me, and how he couldn’t bare not seeing me anymore, such and such. Then word got out about us, and he cut all ties, again. This time it took a little longer to get over. But I did. Last Monday, he texted me.
He said he was mad that we got into that “fight.” We became close. He said he was still waiting for “our kiss” to come again. And I honestly didn’t want to kiss him, but I hadn’t planned on seeing him anytime soon. Well, this past Wednesday, it happened. I attended a new youth group, and he was there. During the two hours of class, we didn’t speak. But we secretly held hands on and off. Youth group ended and everybody proceeded outside. A couple of minutes passed by and Joe goes, -”(myname) race me around the building!!” And I knew he stop and kiss me. But I went anyways. And when he kissed me, it took my breath away. It was quick/short, but powerful. And we were holding hands, and then we kissed one last time, and ran back out front. I haven’t spoken to him since. I remember Tuesday night he was texting me from his sisters cellphone because he got his phone taken away. But, it’s now Saturday night.
I don’t know how to react. If I should be worried, and if I should.. should it be about how he reacted to the kiss, or how he hasn’t made any contact? And I cannot talk to any of my close friends about it because he’s one grade younger than us, and as a freshman, I get too much crap for dating an 8th grader. But, he failed kindergarten, and is suppossed to be in our grade, so I don’t worry too much. But I’m still fidgety about all of this. Everytime I think about it, my heart feels like it has butterflies.. not my stomach. I’ve never felt this for anybody. I just.. need to get this out. And get somebody else’s opinon about how to take the no contact, and everything else.
He wouldn’t be trying to get back at me? I didn’t leave him cold.. I broke up with him. He’s the one who left me cold. I still wanted to be his friend, not the other way around. AND I said, he doesn’t know I two-timed him. And I’ve broken up witht he other boyfriend a long time ago.
I didn’t intend to cheat. At all. But my other boyfriend (Ivan) and I were growing apart, so when we grew closer is when I broke up with Joe. Neither one of them know I cheated.
