Tag Archives: joke

Up for a DIRTY JOKE, anyone??

Posted on December 19, 2011 by admin| 15 Comments

A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. “Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?”

The waiter replied, “Yes. Ever since an Efficiency Expert visited our restaurant… He determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen.”

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, “Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?”

The waiter replied, “Yes, we all do. Seems that the same Efficiency Expert determined that we spend to much time washing our hands after using the men’s room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string, do my thing, and then return to work. Having never touched myself, there really is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time.”

“Wait a minute,” said the diner, “how do you get your penis back in your pants?”

“Well, I don’t know about the other guys, but I use the spoon.”

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Moral of the story is — A funny naughty joke – rate it pls.?

Posted on September 5, 2011 by admin| 8 Comments

There was a fish waiting for a fly to drop 6 inches so the fish could eat the fly.
There was a PussyCat waiting for the fly to drop 6 inches so the fish would eat the fly and the cat could eat the fish.
There was a bear waiting for the fly to drop 6 inches so the fish would eat the fly, the cat would miss the fish, and the bear would get the fish.
There was a hunter waiting for the fly to drop 6 inches so the fish would eat the fly, the cat would miss the fish, the bear would get the fish, and the hunter could get the bear.
So, the fly drops 6 inches, the fish gets the fly, the cat misses the fly and falls in the water, the bear gets the fish, and the hunter gets the bear.

Moral of the story is that when the fly drops 6 inches the pu-ssy gets wet.

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isnt reli a joke! but has great meaning…?

Posted on September 1, 2011 by admin| 5 Comments

This is a simple story with great meaning!

The Duck & the Devil

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was
given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods,
but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed
back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma’s pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the
head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see his sister
watching. Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, “Sally, let’s wash the dishes.” But
Sally said, “Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.”
Then she whispered to him, “Remember the duck?” So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and
Grandma said, “I’m sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.” Sally just
smiled and said,” Well that’s alright because Johnny told me he wanted to
help.” She whispered again, “Remember the duck?” So Sally went fishing
and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s … he
finally couldn’t stand it any longer.

He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma
knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, “Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was
standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I
forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a
slave of you.”

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done.. and the devil keeps
throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits,
hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) …whatever it is….You need to know that
God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing….. He has seen
your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are
forgiven.

He’s just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only
forgives you, but He forgets ….. It is by God’s grace and mercy; that we
are saved.

Go ahead and make the difference in someone’s life today. Share this with
a friend and always remember:

God is at the window.
its a story with a great meaning.
well sorry.

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you must be atleast 18 and twisted to read this joke!?

Posted on September 1, 2011 by admin| 15 Comments

two guys had been living in the wood together for two long and had been getting on each others nerves. one decided the needed a break from each other. “tomorrow” one said”I’ll walk north all day and you walk south all day and the next day we’ll have something to talk about.” so the next day they took separate trips and the following day they met at the campfire to discuss their adventure. I walked north all day and came across a spring that turned into a waterfall. a deer was drinking from the stream and a eagle flew over head, it was a glorious day”.
the second man replied” well, I walked south until I came across some railroad tracks and then I followed the tracks until they ended and at the end I came across a beautiful naked lady tied to the tracks, so I gently untied her and all day long we made love in every imaginable way”
“wow” his friend said” did you get some oral?”
” I would’ve, but I couldn’t find her head.”

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This joke was meant to be funny but also has some spiritual significance. For ten points what is it?

Posted on August 19, 2011 by admin| 23 Comments

A preacher was standing outside on a very rainy day. When it became apparent that there was going to be a flood, the preacher stood there watching it start to rise around him. When the water reached his mid-calf, a man in a car drove up to him and said, “Hey, do you need a ride out of here? The Preacher said,”No son, God will save me.” The man shook his head and drove away. When the water reached his mid section a man in a fishing boat came up to him and asked if he wanted to climb in. The preacher replied again, “No son, God will save me.” The man paddled away. When the water reached his chin, a man in a helicopter flew down and offered him a lift out of there. Again, the preacher said,”No son, God will save me.” So the man flew away. The water then flooded the preacher and drowned him. When he got to heaven he asked God,”God, why didn’t you save me?” and the Lord replied,”I sent, you a car, a boat, and a helicopter. What more do you want from me?”

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