Fly Fishing Fly Tying Basics

Posts Tagged ‘dinner’

I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water & tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters, waitresses, busboys, etc. had spoons in their pockets.

When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had to ask, “Why the spoons?”

“Well,” he explained, “our parent company recently hired some Andersen Consulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and after
months of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons drop spoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil; at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per workstation. By preparing all our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time…nearly 1.5 extra man-hours per shift.

Just as he concluded, a “ch-ching” came from the table behind him, and he quickly replaced a fallen spoon with the one from his pocket.
“I’ll grab another spoon the next time I’m in the kitchen instead of making a special trip,” he proudly explained. I was impressed. “Thanks. I had to ask.” “No problem,” he answered, then he continued to take our orders.

As the members of my dinner party took their turns, my eyes darted back & forth from each person ordering and my menu. That’s when, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a thin, black thread protruding from our waiter’s fly. Again, I dismissed it; yet I had to scan the room and, sure enough, there were other waiters & busboys with strings hanging out of their trousers.

My curiosity overrode discretion at this point, so before he could leave I had to ask. “Excuse me, but…uh…why, or what…about that string?”
“Oh, yeah” he began in a quieter tone. “Not many people are that observant. That same efficiency group found we could save time in the Men’s room, too.” “How’s that, I asked?” “You see, by tying a string to the end of our, eh. . ., selves, we can pull it out at the urinals literally hands-free and thereby eliminate the need to wash our hands, cutting time spent in the restroom by over 93%!”
“Oh, that makes sense,” I said, but then thinking through the process, I asked, “Hey, wait a minute. If the string helps you pull it out, how do you get it back in?”

“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the other guys; but I use the spoon in my pocket”!

We had a potluck dinner today at our church.

I was holding this styrofoam plate (the kind that has all those compartments in it) and was helping myself to a bit of salad. Paying more attention to what my grandkids might be doing, rather than what I was doing.

This woman started yelling at me “Set your plate down on the table! Set your plate down! Set your plate on the table!” I looked at my plate. Flames were coming up from the upper right corner. Little black ashes flying everywhere.

Apparently, I’d held the plate over a lit candle in the centerpiece. Dang!

So then, this woman loudly calls down to the beginning of the food line, “Can we have a new plate here? Someone has gone and set her plate afire down here.” Nothing like calling the entire congregation’s attention to my boo boo.

Then my husband accidentally dipped his tie into the soup. Our grandkids laughed so hard at the pair of us. You can’t take us anywhere, I guess.

Have you done anything like this?
Zinnia, the fire went out when I set the plate on the table. The lady who’d yelled out for another plate then set the new plate under the one I’d half destroyed.

And the little black bits of soot went around and around for several minutes.

Okay, so – My 21st is coming up, and I’m like super excited. My boyfriend is taking me out to dinner the night before for just a like private romantic night, but the actual night of my birthday – everyone is going out to party (And then the day after, I’m flying to Hawaii with my boyfriend for a week)

Anyways – for literally like two months, I have been trying to find the perfect party dress for when we go out.

It has to be a bright color (Preferable pink) and it needs to stand out, I want all eyes on me.

I want people to know it’s my night!

Normally, it would have been easy for me to find something, there was a really cute pink dress at Nordstroms that I liked but I didn’t like that the back was covered up, I want it to be backless or tied.

Links would be great!
Nice brands please, don’t care about how much it costs.

Meaning like Nordstroms, Saks, Neiman, etc…nothing below that.

street. But the females of my species are kind of known for eating their mates. I don’t really want to become dinner- what do I do?
Signed,
Want to Stay Alive

Dear Alive, Sorry, but if you want to have a little fling, you have to be prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice.
Dear Alive, You can make that silk for a purpose you know…tie her up!
Dear Alive, Bring her presents. A nice juicy fly will cool her temper.
Dear Alive, It’s pretty simple. Just get to know her well- from a distance!- before you put the moves on her.