Osama bin Laden, feeling sickly and concerned about his mortality, consults a psychic about the date of his impending death. Closing her eyes, and silently reaching into the future realm, she finds the answer.
“You will die on an American holiday.”
“Which one?” bin Laden asks nervously.
“Doesn’t matter,” replied the psychic. “Whenever you die, it will be an American holiday!”
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub together. They each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they are about to enjoy their creamy beverages, a fly lands in each of their pints and gets stuck in the head.
The Englishman pushes his beer away in disgust.
The Scotsman fishes the fly out and continues drinking as if nothing happened.
The Irishman also picks the fly out of his drink, but then holds it out over the beer and yells, “Spit it out! Spit it out, you b@st@rd!”
