Dear Agnes,I think I’m a pretty handsome wolf spider, and I know a nice girl who lives under a branch up the

street. But the females of my species are kind of known for eating their mates. I don’t really want to become dinner- what do I do?
Signed,
Want to Stay Alive

Dear Alive, Sorry, but if you want to have a little fling, you have to be prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice.
Dear Alive, You can make that silk for a purpose you know…tie her up!
Dear Alive, Bring her presents. A nice juicy fly will cool her temper.
Dear Alive, It’s pretty simple. Just get to know her well- from a distance!- before you put the moves on her.