Fly Fishing Fly Tying Basics

Archive for the ‘Fly Tying’ Category

Firstly sorry for the language in this one, I found it loved it and had to share it
1) Excitable — Shorts half-twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
2) Sociable — Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
3) Cross-eyed — Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
4) Timid — Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.
5) Indifferent — All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
6) Clever — No hands, fixes tie, looks around, usually pisses on floor.
7) Worried — Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection. Frivolous — Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to hit flies and bugs.
9) Absent-Minded — Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
10) Childish — Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.
11) Sneaky — Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in other stall will be blamed.
12) Patient — Stands very close for a long time, reads with free hand.
13) Desperate — Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.
14) Tough — Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry.
15) Efficient — Waits until he has to crap and does both.
16) Fat — Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in shower.
17) Little — Stands on box, falls in, drowns.
18) Drunk — Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.
19) Disgruntled — Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.
20) Conceited — Holds two-inch dick like baseball bat.
I think that about covers it, any more????
Which one are you…………….im not the last one………………………no seriously…………………………………….im not lieing……………………………………………………………………stop looking at me like that……………………..

A drunk was weaving down the road when he notices a man fiddling under the bonnet of his car.
“Whats up buddy?” asks the drunk
“Piston broke” replied the man
“Me too” says the drunk

In theory, housetraining your puppy may seem like a sensible idea, but it doesn’t look good on paper.

Hear about the woman with no arms and no legs who won the local strawberry picking contest? jammy tw@t

Why does George W Bush keep his flies open?
in case he has to count to eleven

What goes click – “is that it?” click – “is that it?” click “is that it?”
A blind man with a Rubik’s cube

What’s the difference between a seagull and a baby?
A seagull flits along the shore….

What has four legs and flies?
A dead horse

What happened to the pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Popeye nearly killed him

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
10,000 volts went up its ass
And turned its wool to nylon

Where do you find fly tying instructions in northern kentucky?

I just wanted to hear some opinions on my situation. What would you do in my case.

I am having a wedding this spring and my bridal party consists of 3 people: 2 girls and a guy. My maid of honor is flying in from another country 2-3 days before the event. I wanted the 2 girls wearing two identical dresses and a guy wearing a vest and a tie the same color as their dresses.

My maid of honor asked me if I am sure I want to pick out the dress for her by myself since there will be only 2 days to alter it in case something does not fit. I said who else will? And she said that she could schedule an appointment with seamstress right away but only in case I will pay for the dress, otherwise she wants to find a dress herself in her country that fits the description of the dress I want her to wear.

Who should pay for the bridesmaids dresses? As far as I remember, in all the weddings I’ve been to the bridesmaids paid for the dresses. (I still have the old bridesmaid dress hanging in my closet. It cost me about $300)

I am afraid that if she’ll pick a dress on her own, it will not be exact match to the other girl’s dress. I was going to find 2 dresses for under $150 and even put a deposit on them myself, but now I don’t even know what to do.

Does the bride traditionally pays for everyone’s gown?
I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, but it kind of upset me that she is sort of giving me an ultimatum. Her wedding is going to be sometime at the end of this year and she probably will want me to pay for my own dress. And I also will have to fly abroad to attend the wedding. I do want things to be my way, since it is my wedding and my first wedding I didn’t get exactly what I wanted, so this time I want everything.

I attached it to the wall and then tied the reed partition across to the wooden fence on the opposite side (about 6ft across).
I have a sweet patio but all the rubbish from the street flies up and collects in my flower pots and planters, it looks awful. I am forever collecting it
I can’t have anything permanent there so bought this reed partition which is 6ft high and tied it across and it really does the trick. But it won’t stand straight (winds etc) Is there a non-permanent pole with a heavy base (or an idea) that I can buy/make to support it in the middle (perhaps not at the moment with these high UK winds!) but when things calm down.. any ideas what I can use? Is there such a thing as a free standing suppport pole. I keep looking but haven’t seen anything… perhaps you yahoo’ers can suggest something..